Thursday, July 17, 2008
Guitar - !@@$@#%#$$^
I wanted to fly a jet, date Antonio Banderas and attend “tea parties” with Paris Hilton.
And infuse my life with extreme excitement.
Unfortunately for me, due to a miniscule problem of poor bank balance I live a morbid life which involves trysts only with MS-Office.
(…..clearly not waking up the E of excitement!)
In want for some change, some excitement…I signed up for guitar classes!!!!!
The day I bought myself a guitar, I imagined I was turning into the next rock star.
And to be readily prepared for the D-day when my talent was discovered I further indulged in rock-starish-garish clothes complete with the skull-bone chain accessories.
The moment I wore the clothes and held the guitar in hand, a zing went straight up my head.
I paraded in front of the mirror for hours together, imagined the crowds I would woo, the autographs I would sign and the famous, cute funny speeches I would make at the TV shows.
Reality didn’t just bite me, it bit me ferociously!!!
My guitar classes gave me fevers.
My guitar teacher spoke an alien language most of which ended with a "you are a musically dead moron".
Chords and Notes and Strings frustrated me more than a broken nail, straight after a 450 bucks manicure.
Added to this every body in my class played better than I. Sigh again!
It would be been a lot more bearable if only there was one pupil worse than me.
My fancy guitar though looks good when I hold it, sounds like a frog with a sore throat when I play it. And that is on my good days!!
After struggling with many strings, notes, Majors and Minors,
I have finally realized it was not my fault.
I chose the wrong musical instrument…..!
My calling is elsewhere!
I now own a beautiful red whistle!!!!
And Hey!!! Any clothes go with it!!
So all you folks if you are looking for a very slightly, mildly used, second-hand Guitar minus an E –string and some rock starish-garish clothes.
Please contact me.