Thursday, July 17, 2008

Guitar - !@@$@#%#$$^


I wanted to fly a jet, date Antonio Banderas and attend “tea parties” with Paris Hilton.
And infuse my life with extreme excitement.

Unfortunately for me, due to a miniscule problem of poor bank balance I live a morbid life which involves trysts only with MS-Office.
(…..clearly not waking up the E of excitement!)

In want for some change, some excitement…I signed up for guitar classes!!!!!

The day I bought myself a guitar, I imagined I was turning into the next rock star.
And to be readily prepared for the D-day when my talent was discovered I further indulged in rock-starish-garish clothes complete with the skull-bone chain accessories.

The moment I wore the clothes and held the guitar in hand, a zing went straight up my head.
I paraded in front of the mirror for hours together, imagined the crowds I would woo, the autographs I would sign and the famous, cute funny speeches I would make at the TV shows.

Sigh!

Reality didn’t just bite me, it bit me ferociously!!!
My guitar classes gave me fevers.
My guitar teacher spoke an alien language most of which ended with a "you are a musically dead moron".
Chords and Notes and Strings frustrated me more than a broken nail, straight after a 450 bucks manicure.
Added to this every body in my class played better than I. Sigh again!
It would be been a lot more bearable if only there was one pupil worse than me.

My fancy guitar though looks good when I hold it, sounds like a frog with a sore throat when I play it. And that is on my good days!!

After struggling with many strings, notes, Majors and Minors,
I have finally realized it was not my fault.
I chose the wrong musical instrument…..!
My calling is elsewhere!

I now own a beautiful red whistle!!!!
Pheeeweet! Pheeweet!

And Hey!!! Any clothes go with it!!

So all you folks if you are looking for a very slightly, mildly used, second-hand Guitar minus an E –string and some rock starish-garish clothes.
Please contact me.

Pheeeweet! Pheeweet!

20 comments:

Oxymoronic said...

I guess your imagination should be confined to Akshay Kumar and Rakhi Sawant respectively instead of the people you mentioned... (chuckles)

Guita Class.. hahaha.. rofl and then guftfbsl (thats 'got up from the floor but still laughing')

Anonymous said...

paris hilton.. what are you??


vodo

mystiquedew said...

Oxy..

:P

I tried...doesnt that count?

:D

Anonymous..

I wrote a million things up there..but all u could talk of was Paris Hilton?
*smiles*
Speaks quite a bit abt ye..:D

Anonymous said...

The company you yearn for speaks a ton.. will ask again .. who you want to hang out with bloody paris?
what are you .. be a gujili i can understand .. hang out with a sl** .. uuuuwaaak

btw i went through the same with sax .. bloody thing i didn't find time .. but i loved it .. all because of this stupid movie duet ..

parthi(annonymous for you)

Oxymoronic said...

I tried looking for phone numbers of Guitar Coaching Classes, Swimming Classes, Dancing Classes.

So, that counts too I believe.

mystiquedew said...

Parthi..

The name was put there was effect. Nothing more.

Get over it dude :)

Hope ye get more ur Sax!

Anonymous said...

hahaha

get over what?

no cant do .. sax adika dhum pathathu .. need to get back to my 20 a day routine then i can think about it ..

enge mela poitiyo nu ninachen .. still alive and hanging out with paris :O

you should try some one like me .. then you will be fine .. if you get beaten up .. dont come chasing me though

S said...

Awww!!! Girl give it one more try one more tug, may be it will behave. Take it out for a night out ;)

Common use your charms to tame the thing :D

S

mystiquedew said...

Oxy,

*grins*

Parthi,

*smiles*

S,

Ok Girl! One last twang, after that I am donating that thing to YMCA in Siberia

vimmuuu said...

LOL; was that written as a joke or did that actually happen?? But you know what, you shouldnt quit ! The initial stages would be tough, but theres nothing in music that you cant get through; unless you are so(pronounced with many o's) bad in music.

mystiquedew said...

Vimmmu...:)

Every single word over there is true...
*BAwwwwwwwwwwwwwllllllllllllllllllll...*

I sooooooo (pronounced with gazilion O's ) bad!!

Anonymous said...

that was funny... how much did u buy it for? do u know if I can get an electronic guitar for a good price? the kind thats used by Linkin Park or metallica/GnR...

!

mirrorcracked said...

Give it to me, please! I will use it to bash my neighbor's son's car's windshield! :D

WhatsInAName said...

LOL at pheeweet pheeweet
Ah yes and whistles can help get you into the good books of many a handsome souls out there :P

avdi said...

garbles - reminds me of the scene in freaky friday when Mom crashes her daughters rock concert and exclaims - You play NOTES?

So what looks like a strum and a caper is actually hard work.

Sigh - n we just try to be pirates and steal their music for free

mystiquedew said...

Anonymous..

No clue at all :)

MC..

Deal..Take it!Only condition u are not allowed to return it :D

Whatsinaname..

Wish I cud get into the Boss's soul..Could do wid a raise :D

Avdi,

Grueling Hard work!
Yea! thou' appears totally glam on the movies
Sigh!

Anonymous said...

Who says you need to wear great clothes to play the guitar? Remember Forrest Gump where the hero bursts into a shady joint one day to see the heroine play the guitar in her birthday suit? A fine one too, it was :)

GR

mystiquedew said...

Grim...

GROWLLLLLLLL!

Nop I dun remember

Hush up!
I said Hush up "boy"!

Ty fer the visit :)
:)

Mama - Mia said...

:D

well you dont need a guitar to be a rockstar woman!! :D

but am glad you joined the classes! we got the laughs!!

yeah i am evil! ;)

cheers!

abha

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

I was actually thinking about signing up for guitar classes -- one of the things on my 'Things to do before I die' list.

After reading your post, I have made a new list!!

Cute post! Loved the gentle humour!