Thursday, August 21, 2008

Hail Maybelline!

There is something therapeutic about shopping akin to chocolates and Will Smith movies.
Though, I like to think, my therapy needs are different.

I have these dry spells for months together wherein I go without buying even a peanut and then in one fine moment all hell breaks loose and it is Shopping Festival the whole month!!
(Er..Will Smith movies are therapeutic through-out the year however :D)

This month of the year I have been diseased by the “Shopping spree” viral.

I happily squandered away all my (non-existent) wealth in all my (non-existent) needs.

I bought me-self clothes, shoes, bags, junk jewelry, accessories…Even a fluorescent pink umbrella!!

I had it all.
Everything that a woman needs!
I owned the universe….
…… my friend told me about a Sale on cosmetics….!!!

I panicked,
I had a fatal flaw
I didn’t have enough. (What a catastrophe!!)

So my friend and I decided to sneak away a few hours after lunch to check the colorful counters.
(Never mind we had a work deadline to meet by 5:00 p.m. This was an E-M-E-R-G-E-N-C-Y!!!!!!)

Invariably when it comes to cosmetics I end up at the doorstep of Maybelline.
Today was no different!
I dabbled with many products from various brands, until my face resembled a mud pie, and my hands and chin took on an eerie purple glow.
And then I knew the only way to salvage the remnants of my face lay in the miracles of Maybelline!!!!

I gravitated towards Maybelline counter and greedily picked many shades and colors of various girlie things. Till I was finally infused with supreme satisfaction!!
It is a feeling that you get when you are on “Damn the diet” and indulge in a huge cheeseburger, fries and some more fries and finish it with a thick chocolate milkshake…Sigh!
I digress…..

Proud with all my new acquisitions I was about to leave, when the sales lady gently nudged me towards the new water-proof eyeliner.

Oh wow! (My bank balance has already plummeted to a minus number!)

Me: So it’s new?
Lady: Yes, it’s the latest, its marvelous, selling like hot cakes..yada yada yada yada
(Like I needed more convincing!)
Me: So…how much is it?
Lady: Oh! It’s on sale! Going dirt cheap, you absolutely cannot miss the offer…yada yada yada yada
Me: Give me a digit!
Lady: XXXX

(Ok! After that I need to sell my kidney and live on liquid diet in my painted eyelids!)

I deeply contemplated if I needed a kidney or the eyeliner
…..I still couldn’t give up on the fantastic eyeliner!!

Me: water proof, ye say????
Lady: Absolutely! Stays on for hours together …yada yada yada yada yada..
Me: Er…how do I take it off?
Lady: Oh! Easy! Just wash your face with water!



Che said...

Oh boy we are both infected with OCTSD. Yes OCTSD is the official scientific name for this terrible wallet crippling, bank balance destroying affliction that you very mildly put as "“Shopping spree” viral". And being a man, its much worse for me :(

Water proof eyeliner that you can wash off with water. LOL. thats brilliant. So is that what all bawwling was over? a mascara that was so waterproof so you were trying to wash it off with tears?

vimmuuu said...

women ! women ! women !

and did you get that waterproof eye liner :D ???

The Quirky Indian said...

Here's some irrefutable (male) logic to help you in your decision-making the next time this happens to you:

"You can live with one less kidney, but you can't live with one less ------- (insert name of product here".

Hmmmm. Wonder what happens after you follow this the second time?


Quirky Indian

Mystique said...

now that's just weird about the waterproof stuff.
goes to show, don't it?

ps: too many mystiques....

mystiquedew said...

yup..all men's stuff are ridiculously expensive and I cant seem to make out any difference between the beige/khaki/pale brown/dark brown/coffee brown pants..

Nop..'em tears fer for "that" tuesday :P

@Vimmuu,Oh I am jus livin one kidney :D

@QI,'Em mocking Men Bah! they dunno nothing ..

@Mystique..Yep, and we buy their goobledegook hook, line and sinker..
girl..I think there are too many of all of the ids :) :)
Nice to meet a namesake thou' :) :)

Avionic Spanker said...

Pink fluorescent umbrella .. sounds like an umbrella out of hell

Wouldnt it be easier, and cheaper on your wallet, to lock yourself in your place for an year with Will Smith DVDs? One year of continuous therapy, imagine that ..

Che said...

hey then i am still waiting for *that* story :P

Smita said...

I hope u had finally picked up that product...

U might not get it later no???? Go grab it if it isn't already with you....

BTW few days back I had accompanied my fren to a jewellery sale. I had promised I'll buy nothing (am in dire financial state :()...but a small, cute, teddy bear wallah mobile case is harmless na?? Plus a small bag for my niece was essential na???

And then that book store in the neighborhood had some wonderful discounts on some lovely books, so how cud I resist them???

hehehe we are genetically made this ways :D so stop thinking too much...and BTW u shud have thrown some water on that ladies face to check the water profitability ;-)

Oxymoronic said...

Hail You!!! U surviving with one Kidney...

Why women always are out of clothes/accessories within 2 days of stuffing their cabinet with everything needed (not needed)???

Water-proof to be washed with water.. Hail Sales Lady!!!

Bouncing-Bubble said...

Dear Ms.Dew!
u never cease to amaze me.. sorry cudn't help ROFLing, tho u've lost one kidney..
I go shopping with the resolve of a rock, but then....Sigh!

mystiquedew said...

@avionic, quite a thought
*deeply contemplates again*

@Right, che, finished my 400-page saga..couriering it to ye now

@ Oxy, Hail Maybelline!!! :D

@BB, I know the resolve part ...and then the crumble the resolve within minutes part too :(
like Che says, girl its a teerrible affliction :(

Smita said...

Somebody didn't reply to my comment
:( :( :( :(

Me pathetically sad....

mystiquedew said...

oopsie doopsie..

I need to be kicked and left alone with a cockroach...

swwy girl..

yeps..I got it, i got it i got it..i own the universe :D

aw..girl teddies and books are essentials...they don fall under shoppin spree disease :) :)

Che said...

Aw crap you couriered it!
I wont be home for a week.
Going to goa remember?

mystiquedew said... goin to Goa????????
and u rubbin it in as well????????????

double bawwlllllllllllllllllllllll i wanna be thereeeeeeeeee.......

ZULU said...

hey gurl...

hold yet to come with a shock of that pink umbrella !!!

Did u buy dat thingy costing kidney ?


Che said...

come along girl. you will LOVE waking up at 5:30 to leave hotel by 6:30 to attend management training and team building exercises till 9:30 in the night! I am going on office trip :(

Oxy said...

Smita, U ain't alone... somebody did reply but ignored a ques of mine... all it matters to them is whether *they* commented or not.. someone should not just be keft with cockroaches... they should be forced to eat that...

Anonymous said...

Priceless!! :)
What an experience! Hehehe... I usually get my salary around the 5th of every month and by the 10th, i'm broke!! :)

Oh, and btw, fluorescent pink umbrella???? WTF :D

Tazeen said...

The last line was brilliant, couldn't stop laughing

mystiquedew said...

Zulu.. Pink is right! :D

Che...I think right this moment ye are not around..but *sigh* I'll take Goa with all the damn meetings :)

Oxy..Hush up ye boy! *scowl* ye jus wanna pick a fight with me

MC..Yups, Its a world-wide syndrome I guess..

Tazeen.. Glad ye liked it, girl :)

Scribblers Inc said...

the last line is the shit!!!goooood writing!:D

Scribblers Inc.

WhatsInAName said...

you are tagged sweetheart!

Mama - Mia said...

well your affliction happened in the right momth at leat when all the sales are happening!! :p

LOVED the post like always!!



Anonymous said...

Came here from Anniyan's blog. This post was funny. LOL on the waterproof eye liner. I guess the sales lady was really trying to sell away. Shopping is like dominoes neatly arranged, if you just tip one everything falls and doesnt stop until everything falls.

Surya, the Ayrus! said...

landed thru Che's blog. ha , ha and ha!

mystiquedew said...

terribly swwy fer bein this late :(

@Scribblers .. Ty :)

@WIAN ..Is it?

@Mamma Mia .. Danke danke danke :)

@Madhuriveeran! Bingo! thts the word

@Surya..glad u liked it ..ty:)

Che said...

I have an excuse that I was in Goa but whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy isnt your blog updated woman!

And I am still waiting on that sob story :P

Scribblers Inc said...

arre likho baba!!same same comment ho raha hai!!:P

Scribblers Inc.

mystiquedew said...


:( :( :( i think i have the bloggers block :D


me-thinks I shud be writing soon :)

Che said...

ah well if there is nothing you can write on then write about me but write :P

Anonymous said...

funny one!

So, how much did the kidney fetch ya? Yu bought the eyeliner, right???? Am sure there was enough left for yu tu buy a "salive-proof" lipstick too :D :D

And, florescent pink umbrella?? Seriously??

nice work yu got rolling yours to mine. :)