Monday, August 11, 2008

Tomb of Mummy 3 - DOOMED!!!!!!!!!!

When I heard of Mummy 3, I went WOW.
When I landed at the theatre 10 minutes before the start of the movie and actually managed to get prime tickets. I went WOW-est.
I saw the movie. And I went YUCK!

Mummy 3 has no mummies; Did I hear a.. Wha???
Not a single “undead” falls in the dictionary equivalent of the embalmed bodies.

Well the Crummy.. oops! Mummy title is just a teaser for the forthcoming 100 minute agony.

Mummy 3 is set in China, with a suspended in animation evil-dragon-King.
The story starts with an uncharming copy of the Mummy 1 and the love triangle.
The vile King and his army is cursed by a witch and converted into terracotta dolls.


Terracotta Soldiers

We then move into Rick and Eve’s home in England, where our Brandon Fraser tries very hard to maintain his cute lines and the devil-may-care adventurer attitude.
He keeps trying throughout the movie!!!

Rick’s son unearths the King’s tomb in China and somewhere along Eve’s brother John is included.


The Tomb

Predictably the King is woken up from his terracotta.

Predictably there is a chase scene with the Connells' chasing the King’s chariot in the middle of Shanghai.
A Rick riding a headless- mummied horse??? (The next one would probably include mummied rats, rabbits and houseflies!)

Predictably there are some local guardians of the tomb waiting for the “THE BAD DAY” when the king wakes up and unleashes disgusting, evil things to the world.

Now The King needs to drink water from a holy pool in Himalayas to ward off the curse.

Predictably the Dummy King..er.. Mummy King drinks the holy water and comes back in full form.

Some more predictably snooze-filled action scenes later, the King is vanquished.


Father and Son!

Rick’s son looks more like his brother making the Father-Son moments ridiculous.

John’s clich├ęd “I hate mummies” 9 years after the first one, basically left me wondering if they did hire a script writer at all.

Mr. Director, read the tomb next time. It says R.I.P for a reason!

The only horror in the movie was my snoring date!!

30 comments:

stock information said...

im your favorite reader here!

zulu said...

the sequel is titled as "mummies, the dumbies"...its likely to be in indian parliament...

what are the prime tickets ???

The Quirky Indian said...

Lol. After I watched Dragon King, I thought movies couldn't get any worse. And then, as you know, I watched Singh is Kinng. And was proven wrong!

Btw, your date seems like a smart guy. Did the best thing he could, given the circumstances!

Cheers,
Quirky Indian
http://quirkyindian.wordpress.com

Smita said...

Wt kind of date do u take along...

Huh next time u plan to go to a horrible movie take me along, I have a habit of creating stories and side stories bole to I won't let you watch and we will move out the screen your neighbours wud either come to kill u or wud glare @ u :P

WhatsInAName said...

Ah! I felt the same after watching the movie. But since I havent watched the other mummies, I did not have much expectation :)
And thankfully movie wasnt sooooo long!

couchpapaya said...

oh too bad! i did weigh fraser's rick against the ennui of the entire mummy-giri and fraser lost! looks like i made the right choice :)

vimmuuu said...

Hahaha, I am sure ur date gave you a better company than the movie.

Speaking of damn squib movies, I watched Singh is Kinng and i remained speechless at the end. I was scared if I speak anything, my friends would kill me ! In my efforts to prove them that Hindi movies are not all that bad, I took them once to Race, and then LS 2050 and now to this. Tickets to all these were advanced booked and there wasnt an opportunity for me to escape after reading the reviews :(

Oxymoronic said...

I have decided to stay away from new Holly/Bolly releases for some time. Can't take it. Hancock/JTYJN/LS 2050/Singh is Kinng and now this in last one month and I am going back to my DVDs way.. picked coupla german/french movies..

Btw, Post was WOW-est and I already like ur date.

Che said...

Gah! why would you even watch it!

mystiquedew said...

SI..
Thank ye!

Zulu
Ones where we can sleep without being woken up :D

QI,
You are a daring man, I am too scared to even try Singh is King

Smita,
you, in this case thou' the whole auidence would have joined us :D

WIAN,
Well..the 3rd one was potpourri of the first 2..
i'll let u decide if you wanna watch the them :D

Couchpapya,
Absolutely right! :D

Vimmu,
Sigh! Those are truly the horror movies :)

Oxy,
heheheheh..
You actually watched Singh is King? after QI's review I am not touching it with a 100-feet barge pole..

Che,
My fatal mistake :(
Ty for the visit :)

Mama - Mia said...

i havent seen any of the Mummy movies!! so i cans ave myself this agony totally!! nahi?

id rather go on being mummy!!

aaarrgghh!! sorry for the terrible PJ!!

rocking review as always girl! i love it when the movie you watch turns out to be a dud!! :p

cheers!

abha

Kris Bass said...

Thank you for saving me the misery!

indiapavan said...

You know? I ACTUALLY WANTED to watch the movie however it was. Then I saw all the people spitting on the poster (I'm kidding) and decided against it. I realized I could not pour 100 bucks down the drain. We went to watch Kung-Fu Panda instead. I think that is the best thing I have EVER done in my life where movies are concerned. I pity you. :D

mirrorcracked said...

Hahahaha!! Very funny! I had heard that this movie was a disappointment, but didn't expect it to be this much! :)
At least your date had a nice nap! hehe...

Che said...

at least you have good taste when it comes to your date.
Smart enough man to sleep through it!

Err I think you blogrolled my profile instead of my blog....

mystiquedew said...

Mamma Mia...

Hyok Hyok Hyok!

Kris Bass...

Ur welsome :)

india pavan..

You r rubbing salt on me-raw wounds:(

Mirrorcracked..
After this, I dont think any thing can dissappoint me :D

yea..I bet! Best Chloroform movie eva!

Che..

I did?? Gagagagaga...changing it now

Avionic Spanker said...

I got suckered into watching this movie as well. And the guy sitting next to me, who happens to be my colleague, kept talking on the phone during the movie. I had to endure the added pain of having to listen to mindless banter whenever there was a period of relative quiet in the movie.

At least I have not watched S is K. Phew!

avdi said...

Mr. Director, read the tomb next time. It says R.I.P for a reason!

HAHA

snoring date ... horrid... dint buy you no popcorn?

indiapavan said...

@mystique
Hee hee. :D Sorry. But I could not help myself. :)

Che said...

hello can I have a blog with the side of laughs please?

mystiquedew said...

Avonic
*grins*..

Avdi
yups..i did i was too choked to swallow thou' :D

Indiapavan
:(

Che..
Wha???????? *baffled*
explain again like u wud to a 5-yr old :(

Che said...

erm. please write another funny blog. pretty please.

Che said...

why why why?
why le cry?
temme temme temme.

Che said...

Oh wait i just read your profile
":P Like i'll tell u"
darn.

mystiquedew said...

lolz...i'll tell ye..if u really wanna hear a stowwy abt my ruined mascara :)

Che said...

of course i wanna hear the stowwy.

I ma the best Agony Ungle in the worrrld.

Scribblers Inc said...

oh...double bummer, what with the movie and your date..and I was cursing myself that I missed the fare..you just improved my day like a lot!!:)

Scribblers Inc.

Tazeen said...

hahaha

Your date actually snored, in cinema?

mystiquedew said...

Che...

I am typing a 400 page document on my miseries..Hope ye got enuff kleenx :D

Scribblers..
Now, now..Thank me nicely fer savin ye the torture

Tazeen
Yup..!
I was brain fried already like I needed to be acutely embarassed as well:(

Che said...

400 pages? Another war and peace aye?
Dont worry I have armed myself with enough red bull so I dont snooze through it.
Paperback or hardbound?