Tuesday, April 7, 2009

"Remote"ly Connected

I was nursing a headache which started from my toe-nails. My tongue felt like somebody had pulled it out of its roots. I was not sure if I had hired twins for my maid…Being this woozy simply meant that it wasn't the best climate for work! I mean I am not sure if my boss would really give me a promotion if he saw me rolling my eyes and dying on the keyboard!

So I sat at home..Sucks!

So I sat at home sick…. Sucks big-time!

Now the number of activities I could do was limited, as you know is the case with every paralytic patient.

I looked for something ingenious and thrilling to do.

And I picked up the Remote.

Never did I imagine there was grand epiphany following me!

This devious thing showed me what a misfit I had turned into…I don’t understand humanity anymore!

MTV – Holy.H.Christ…Aren’t they supposed to play music? When do they stop talking? Can someone shut the roadies clowns, these wannabe-angry-people can play havoc on a person in her death bed.

Sony TV, KTV, Blah TV – Jesus! I don’t care if you found raw dancing/singing/ crooning/ braying talent in the interiors of Middle earth. SHUDDUP!

Your gaming shows, contests, challenges are all as fake as my hair color.

Star World - Moment of Truth ! HA! Must call it Moment of Squirm!

Don’t get me wrong fella, you do host it coz you are getting a fat pay-cheque, now your victims spill beans about their flaming orgies in front o’ their families, coz you’re going to give them a fat cheque.

But why in the heavens name do you think I should watch it?

Your victim slept with his girlfriend while fantasizing of his ex-boy friend who does dope in a circus while making-out with baboons.

…And yea! Victim's mom’s B+ve is rushing into her face. .. So?

I dunno your victim from Adam, what possible thing could interest me about a stranger? Gah!

NDTV Live – Quick! Somebody stuff cotton into Barkha’s mouth..While you are at it give her a good haircut.

I don’t get it! All horrors shows are comical, all comedy shows are horrific, all singers have short skirts, all roadies guys are socio-paths that you’d never dare to encounter on a lonely street.

All Show hosts scowl and use foul language ..What’s worse, the more impolite you’re the more successful you are..

(I should say my boss can always pursue an alternate career with ‘em channels…After all his opening line is always..
“What the beep, is wrong with you beepers..Beep Beep, Get the Beeping work done otherwise get the beep outta here..” )

I stared at the remote in a glazed fear! This thing…this evil thing is poisoning me with digital nonsense!


..Can people with insanity claim gratuity?


Che said...

You need more "Bored" games woman :P

Che said...

oh and welcome back. we missed you in the blogosphere :P

Quirky Indian said...

Another victim of the horrors of Indian Television!

Welcome back, btw.

Quirky Indian

Anonymous said...

LOL...agree on everything...

as for that comparison with your boos...well...take a peek at this...

Vee said...

Are you ever happy and content with anything?

Won't say welcome back, as you would run away the moment I say that. Stay put though..;)

P.S. Missed You..

Smita said...

Ha Ha Ha...

I agree with Vee...please read his comments again, he is just echoing my thoughts :D

mystiquedew said...

Che..Ya! that wud keep the “board” oom away..
Thanks :)

QI – Victims galore? We shud start a yahoo groups fer us :D
Thanks :)

Alphabetworld – sigh!
Cant the check the link yet..will try and read it in the weekend

Vee – That line looks sneakily close to what I wrote fer someone else :D
Ya! If this is what I have to be content wid ..u got awfully low expectations :p
Will try to stick it if ye promise to give up watchin roadies :p

Chintu – Yeppers

Mama - Mia said...

aaah! thats why we do not have cable tv at home! hehe!

just the other day M was also asking when did MTV stop playing MUSIC? the M before their TV! geez!

and girl! pls write more often! :D



avdi said...

Wow, my life replayed. CAn you imagine that the nth rerun of Friends is better than anything else? That Old Skool on Zee Cafe can make you smyle? That badly hacked hollywood E grade movies are still the best things to be watched. HELP !

sanely insane said...

and that is why i maintain a buffer of downloaded movies / episodes of how i met your mother to provide entertainment in times of need

eye-in-sty-in said...

Last time I felt something in my toenail was when I broke it... I must hand it to you... I mean, how could u watch TV when u have a headache? The crap that is on there is a magnet for a headache even with one is perfectly healthy... lol! Hope u feel better now... Are u gonna stick around or should a bunch of us pool-in and get some fevicol?

mystiquedew said...

mama mia - joys of no cable..u r blessed indeed.

Avdi - Yeppers!

Insanely ..Clever Man!

eye - Yup much betta!.. no fevicol..i will be around'

Bouncing-Bubble said...

Put the remote in a remote place and forget it.

ps:missed u loads

Anonymous said...

May the karupayi force be with you.

Vee said...

We are back with quiz to decide the winners of Guessing Contest:

Click here: http://moviemaniax.wordpress.com/2009/04/16/tie-breaker/


Vee said...

The correct link: http://moviemaniax.wordpress.com/2009/04/23/the-winners/

Anand said...

Awwwwww man...I was with u all the way...word for word..line for line...The damn remote...M fuckin TV, Moment of pure gross...truth..wotever.....till I came across Barkha Dutt.

Heyyyyy now....She's koool, man...and how contradictory can it be when she manages to bring on a smile on ur face even when she'd be talkin bout topics as deadly as Nuclear weapons to terrorism ? I happned to meet her in person and she's jus as bright.

So well..I agree with u 99.99 % on all topics excpet the Barkha thingie.. Hahhaa.. I hope that hasnt made me into a monster in ur eyes.

Anand. :-)

Anand said...

Hope uve read ur reply.... hee