"Remote"ly Connected

I was nursing a headache which started from my toe-nails. My tongue felt like somebody had pulled it out of its roots. I was not sure if I had hired twins for my maid…Being this woozy simply meant that it wasn't the best climate for work! I mean I am not sure if my boss would really give me a promotion if he saw me rolling my eyes and dying on the keyboard!

So I sat at home..Sucks!

So I sat at home sick…. Sucks big-time!

Now the number of activities I could do was limited, as you know is the case with every paralytic patient.

I looked for something ingenious and thrilling to do.

And I picked up the Remote.

Never did I imagine there was grand epiphany following me!

This devious thing showed me what a misfit I had turned into…I don’t understand humanity anymore!



MTV – Holy.H.Christ…Aren’t they supposed to play music? When do they stop talking? Can someone shut the roadies clowns, these wannabe-angry-people can play havoc on a person in her death bed.

Sony TV, KTV, Blah TV – Jesus! I don’t care if you found raw dancing/singing/ crooning/ braying talent in the interiors of Middle earth. SHUDDUP!

Your gaming shows, contests, challenges are all as fake as my hair color.

Star World - Moment of Truth ! HA! Must call it Moment of Squirm!

Don’t get me wrong fella, you do host it coz you are getting a fat pay-cheque, now your victims spill beans about their flaming orgies in front o’ their families, coz you’re going to give them a fat cheque.

But why in the heavens name do you think I should watch it?

Your victim slept with his girlfriend while fantasizing of his ex-boy friend who does dope in a circus while making-out with baboons.

…And yea! Victim's mom’s B+ve is rushing into her face. .. So?

I dunno your victim from Adam, what possible thing could interest me about a stranger? Gah!

NDTV Live – Quick! Somebody stuff cotton into Barkha’s mouth..While you are at it give her a good haircut.

I don’t get it! All horrors shows are comical, all comedy shows are horrific, all singers have short skirts, all roadies guys are socio-paths that you’d never dare to encounter on a lonely street.

All Show hosts scowl and use foul language ..What’s worse, the more impolite you’re the more successful you are..

(I should say my boss can always pursue an alternate career with ‘em channels…After all his opening line is always..
“What the beep, is wrong with you beepers..Beep Beep, Get the Beeping work done otherwise get the beep outta here..” )

I stared at the remote in a glazed fear! This thing…this evil thing is poisoning me with digital nonsense!

Help!

..Can people with insanity claim gratuity?